Can you smell the burnout?

Ok, I’m losing steam already. I’m feeling a like a bit of a eco-freak at work. I’m also starting to feel a bit smelly since the renewed effort to break the anti-perspirant habit (it’s only been 3 days).

The last few weeks have made me realize how entrenched our dependence is on this chemical/plastic/consumer lifestyle. I’m starting to get the feeling that even if I lived like a hermit off the grid in the bush somewhere, I’d somehow end up exposed to chemical fallout. I watched a documentary yesterday about the environmental impacts of Alberta’s tar sands. Interviews with people from the remote community of Fort Chipewyan indicated alarmingly high rates of rare cancers and increasing numbers of deformities in fish. Studies support their anecdotal findings. Their waters are becoming increasingly polluted by contaminants in tailings ponds and emissions from the oil sands. So, this idea of “living off the land” as a safe alternative is probably just an illusion.

Normally, I’d just pack it all in right about now, switch back to anti-perspirant, give “normal” birthday gifts and indulge in some cheezies to make me feel better. At heart, I’m a quitter – but I hate doing it publicly. So, I’ll keep on smelling like patchouli and sweat, and serve my kids organic broccoli, chard and tamari with noodles instead of the frozen pizza I feel like throwing into the oven.

And tonight I’ll avoid any informative programming and watch a few episodes Modern Family because sometimes choosing ignorance is way more fun.