Two Toonies

I just got two lovely surprises this week in the form of my 5 year old's latest birthday party invitations. Two separate invitations to "two-toonie gift" parties. As discussed in previous post on this topic, the idea is that guests are requested to bring two toonies in lieu of a traditional gift. The birthday kid keeps half and donates half of the money.
It makes me optimistic. Partly because I won't have to feel like I'm making my kids social outcasts by not giving regular birthday gifts at "normal" parties, and partly because maybe it means alot of people are sick of the birthday scene and looking for a way out. And if so, maybe it also means that alot of people are sick of accumulating so much unnecessary stuff. And maybe they too are disillusioned with our culture of entitlement. And if little kids are willing to give up presents without any fuss at all, maybe there is some real hope.

That said, today I bought some gratuitous stuff.

Like a 1950s housewife enthralled with appliances, I somehow convinced myself that I needed both an ice cream maker and a food processor. My intentions were good. I'm doing a hell of a lot of chopping these days to preserve all my organic, local, and home-grown food. And for goodness sakes, all natural ice cream can't possibly be a bad thing, right? But you know what they say about good intentions. In this case, as usual, it's the path to hypocrisy. Two scoops.

Walking the Walk...kind of

Earlier this year, I wrote a long rant about birthday parties. I swore that my own kids would have simple parties and we wouldn't even try to keep up with the Joneses. I took a "no loot bags" vow, and a "no presents" vow. That was easy, because neither of my kids had birthdays for at least 6 months into the future. But summer is birthday season in our house, and now I have to walk the walk. The results weren't as hardcore as I'd originally imagined, but we've just had two parties that kept (for the most part) to the spirit of my vows.
My son's was easy. He's just turning 3 and not so indoctrinated with neighbourhood birthday tradition. His birthday isn't until August, but we had a party for him in June to celebrate the beginning of summer with all of his daycare friends. He got it in his head that it was a birthday party, so we made a cake and he was totally satisfied with that. He was the only one who thought it was his birthday, so there were no presents or loot bags. Done.
5 year olds have been on the birthday circuit longer and thus have higher expectations. But we did okay with my daughter's party this weekend. We kept the guest list small, which granted, is easier to do with a summer birthday when school's out and you don't have to worry about too many people feeling left out. We had 6 friends and 1 little sister. Reasonable I think. We had the party at home (unusual in these parts since we all live in tiny houses), we made crafts (tissue paper flowers, beaded bracelets, and ahem, Froot Loop necklaces), we planted flower seeds in pots that the kids could take home, and we busted up some homemade pinatas (yeah, filled with candy- and each kid got a brown paper bag in which to collect their pinata winnings...so I guess that's a loot bag. Ooops). The birthday girl requested a Canada Flag cake, and we had pita pizza with organic dough, and a giant watermelon. All in all, pretty low key, easy, inexpensive and low waste. High sugar though...I'll work on that one for next year.
My favorite idea I found on someone else's blog (sorry, I can't reference it 'cause i forget where I read it), but we requested that instead of gifts each child brought two $2 coins. One for the birthday girl and one for a charity of the birthday girl's choice. At the end of the party, our daughter had $14 to take shopping, and $14 for charity. She chose a summer dress to buy, and after careful consideration, decided to give her charity money to a Conservation agency that works to save habitat for frogs and lizards. A little surprising for me, but hey, it's her choice! We were happy that our recycling bin wasn't full with toy packages and wrapping paper. All in all, the concept was a big hit and got great reviews from the parents involved.
I even got some feedback from parents saying that they are planning to try the 2 toonies birthdays too! Good luck everyone!

Yellow = Green?

I got an email from my brother-in-law this week about how to opt out of receiving the paper copy of the Yellow Pages. I added it to my to-do list but just one day later received a shiny new copy in the mail. Feeling guilty for not acting more quickly, I immediately opted out for next year before I could forget again. On closer inspection, however, I realized my shiny new copy was the CANPAGES, not the Yellow Pages. I don’t use one directory, never mind two! So I decided to opt out of CanPages too…but alas, it’s not so simple. Seems the best you can do is to go to the this website and send them an email. http://www.canpages.ca/feedback.do?dispatch=init&act=121&lang=0 I’ll let you know next year if it actually works.

If you too want to opt out of Yellow Pages, they make it easy. You just go to http://www.ypg.com/delivery and check off all the things you don’t want.

The Birthday Circuit

What's not to love? There's cake, hot dogs, games, chaos, shrieking and presents. What kid can resist that combination. Besides, there's often a cool venue included like Chuck E. Cheese, Princess Palace, or Glitter Pie. Add to the mix loot bags, inevitably filled with dollar store crap or candy (who can afford to put nice stuff in loots bags for 10 or more kids?). But for the kids, the fun still appears to be mostly in the shrieking. Where do presents really factor into the fun? I'm about to find out.

I'd say we're currently averaging about 15 birthday parties a year. That's alot of gifts. I hate shopping for gifts, not because I hate giving, but because I hate that there is a good chance the gifts I select are not what the recipient actually wants or needs. Maybe I'm deficient in the ability to perceive what people actually want. But there is something especially difficult about buying for the children of others. Maybe I just hate having toys in my house that are used once and then abandoned for toy purgatory. I have to assume at least some others feel the same way. But it's a tradition. I get that. Traditions can evolve, can't they?

I'm taking another small step. Starting today, with my kid's trip to her classmate's birthday party, I'm going to take a step that makes me a bit nervous of being judged as a radical fun killer. I'm going to send my daughter to that party with a charity gift card and a book instead of a present with a "fun factor". Www.CanadaHelps.org is a charity site where you can make an online donation or buy a gift card. The recipient of the card can direct their gift to any registered Canadian charity. I figure, it's learning experience. Parents and kids can talk about giving, and read about different charities and choose the one they like the best. Sounds more meaningful than another Polly Pocket or Little Pet Shop, no?

Okay, so my daughter suggested this morning that maybe it would be better to give a "more fun" present. She's worried about ostracism from the birthday circuit maybe? Just wait for what she has to say when it's her party and I request charity donations in lieu of gifts. Oh, and outlaw loot bags. Maybe then she will really be kicked off the circuit. Poor kid, she never signed up for my small steps campaign. Maybe one day she'll appreciate it as a move more important than another haul of plastic toys.

Or not.